Patient Admissions Desk
So, you've decided  to commit yourself to NuTH0uSE.
Good decision. Don't you feel better already? And just
imagine the knowing looks you'll get from friends and
family when you beamingly tell them that you've finally
found your happy place. Now, follow the admission
instructions below and your treatments will soon be
delivered by your friendly postal carrier. Sorry,
NuTH0uSE prescriptions aren't covered by any
insurance plan.
EXTRA FINE PRINT DISCLAIMER, DO NOT BOTHER TO READ.  NuTH0uSE reserves the right to employ experimental techniques and accepts
no liability for any misdiagnosis, physical injury or worsening of any particular wacko's condition. Rumors that the admittee might be subjected to
leeches, thumb screws or bad puns can neither be confirmed nor denied. Enjoy your stay!
Click here to pay for a $10
prescription by credit card
To pay by mail and by check, please print and complete the following
admission form:
PATIENT INFORMATION
Name (please tell us who you are or whom you believe yourself to be):

________________________________________________________

Address (your whereabouts will not be disclosed to the authorities unless
we are adequately paid off):

_________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

Preferred treatment plan
Single session, $1.50 for 1 treatment
(Florida residents, $1.59; foreign, $2                           _______________
Extensive therapy, $5 for 4 treatments
Florida residents, $5.30; foreign, $8                             _______________
Intensive therapy, $10 for 8 treatments
Florida residents, $10.60; foreign, $16                        ________________
Expired medications, $1.50 each
Florida residents, $1.59; foreign, $2
Please provide the treatment numbers
________________________________                     ________________
Gift certificate
Give the gift of lunacy by committing a friend
or relative to NuTH0uSe.
Click here for the
commitment papers. Rate are the same
as above.                                                                      ________________

YOUR GRAND TOTAL (ka-ching, ka-ching)                 ________________
Do
NOT pay NuTH0uSE. Please make checks payable to"
Twin Rivers Press, P.O. Box 119-W, Ellenton FL 34222